Having felt trapped more than once in a corporation or public utility’s fifth circle of customer service hell, I empathize with the public’s anger and frustration. Nothing elevates the blood pressure like getting placed in interminable telephone waiting queues or otherwise being forced to engage in futile debates with unresponsive call center drones when trying to fix a customer problem.
No wonder the epic customer service meltdown that circulated last year resonated with so many. Talk about a teachable but unlearned moment.
And also see Aaron Spain’s viral video, “Comcast put me on hold until they closed,” about his sitting on hold for 3 hours trying to cancel Comcast service last August.
So when I heard about a new web-based service purporting to “fight the faceless corporations causing your customer service nightmares,” I was intrigued — in spite of the website’s indelicate name, “Assholes On Demand.” Their motto is “Non sibi, sed suis” or “Not for oneself but for one’s own.” Of course, it could all be for laughs, too.
The “project” is headed by principals Erin Scottberg and Erik Martin who list a Manhattan area phone number on their website and offer the following somewhat ambiguous explanation about their deliverables:
“Assholes on Demand helps people get what they rightfully deserve. We’re caring and resourceful assholes* who will fight the faceless corporations causing your customer service nightmares. You’re not alone and you aren’t going crazy.
“Assholes on Demand currently only accepts Pro Bono cases. We specialize in helping senior citizens, active duty military, and non-English speakers.
“If you or a loved one have no where else to turn, contact us maybe we can help. If you’re an asshole, volunteer with us and put your powers to good use.
We’re like the X-Men, but for assholes!”
Giving them the benefit of the doubt, however, I salute the undertaking. Hopefully it does turn out to be altruistic and honest of intentions.
Last, I don’t know if the folks providing “Assholes on Demand” are lawyers. I doubt it, even if it sounds like this ought to be a lawyer’s bailiwick. It prompts, too, my recollections of a salty old lawyer friend who analogously sasses his explanation when asked why people hire lawyers, he answers “Why send an amateur, when you can hire a professional asshole?”
And of course, it also prompts some Mel Brooks.
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Photo Credits: “Angry Crazy Man,” by Catherine Helzerman, chelzerman, at Flickr via Creative Commons-licensed content requiring attribution and share alike distribution.
